I am a fat bitch , laugh all you want

Haiz , Disappointed with me ?
Sure , I am just a freaking person fighting for oxygen and space .
You claim that you don't know what I am thinking or whatever shit .
I don't wanna hang out with you as much because ....
I don't feel like saying anything .
Why ?
Why must 2 faced people (human Pleasers) 
Come into my life ?:(
Trying to please everyone .
Tell different stories , would rather tell your secret to others than to me . 
I AM FREAKING STRESS OKAY ?!
If you dont like things this way , just tell me face to face .
Don't beat around the bush telling people , blogging about it .
I don't wanna get hurt .
And everytime , when you were trying to please everyone , self pitying , I just sat there and went like there she goes ...
We can be friends , but things won't be the same again .
I an still remember all the hurtful things you said to me .
Like only when you want me to do things for you then you treat me like your best friend.
I have great fear within me .
GREAT GREATT GREATTT FEAR .
A FEAR THAT WILL NEVER GET INTO YOUR HEAD .
when we Are close friends , you said I was pretty , but when we fight , you called me a fat bitch.
JUST LET ME A FAT BITCH IN YOUR EYES .
I am fat and I am a bitch .
Whatever you think I am , I am .
I don't understand , and I gave up , I will nvrr try to understand alr .
To you I am a fat bitch and a notch that make use of you and run away with there friends .
Just stop it . It's not funny .
An It will never be .

IT IS TRUE ?:(

I think I have lost my trust in the people I loved .
I love Many friends . I love them wholeheartedly .
I treat them how I wanna get treated .
But what happen ?
A stabbed in my back ?
IN YOUR FACE HAH EUGENIA CHAN KE JIA .
From now on , I shall not trust my best friend anymore .
Thank GOD no one reads this .
School sucks , but my god doesn't .
Imma gonna face up to my challenges ahead of me and enjoy my day !

Argh , I am not gonna blog like very often now :)

Hahahah , I am falling sick . Die .
I feel that everything is stuffed within me . So tight I can't breathe !:(
But I will preservere .
I will do this to glorify god !:)
I'll stop here to take a rest ;)

I will rejoice in what you give me :)

Today , I wanted to cry so badly .
I know I shouldnt expect so much from people .
But this is a blog and since no one read it , I shall just blog my feelings out :)
Hahaha . Hmmm today wenxin and some people ask me to go dance .
I wanna go dance badly .
But when I tell them I can't go , they seem to be so sad and stuff .
It is not that I wanna disappoint them !
But I am wry very tired .
Everyone can go service on sat and go out on sun .
But why I have to help my mum ?:(
It is boring and difficult challenge , everyone wake up at 9 plus and sat and sun .
But I have to wake up at 6 :(
God , please give me the strength to do this !:)
Tomorrow is Monday .
If I am gonna be different from others , I shall be different from others in a positive way too !:)
Monday blues for everyone ?
Monday is gonna be an exciting day with God !:):)
COME ON EUGENIA ! we can do this !:):)

Prayer request :)

It is not nice to judge someone :(
Today I shall take time off to pray for someone that I don't know very well .
Hmmm who shall it be ?
I think I wanna pray for Ann qi;)
Idk why but I just suddenly thought about her .
Hahaha

Dear god ,
I wanna pray for my dear sister annqi .
Even though I am not very close to her .
I wanna pray that this year would be a blast to her as she is doing her N's .
Give her the strength and bless her so much more .:)
Stay strong sister !:):)
Amen !:)

God , are you there ?:)

Today I didn't go service :(
Wasn't allowed to cause I kinda had to help my mum .:(
Hahahah , when I went to my mum's shop, I started doing my homework .
When I just started , this girl dropped a big bottle of perfume near me .
The smell was so strong that it made me so dizzy and I had a huge headache .
Plus I was doing poa at that time . And you know , I am a poa idiot , so I really don't know how to do + headache :(
I keep wanting to cry .
So I started talking to myself and tried to comfort myself .
Then I continued !:)
And thank god that I really finish my poa Homework and started to study ss.
But before I start , meimei called me and ask me where am I and stuff .
Then I was just like oh I am helping my mum .
That point , I think I was abit like so good , they can go for lg and service ...
But after hanging up , I noticed , god gave me thus huge challenge to train me to become a fireproof Christian .
I stared at the necklace again and said fireproof Eugenia and gave a big smile :)
Even people may look down on me , I will never look down on me .
So what if I am fat - fat is cute :)
So what if I am ugly ? - ugly is the new thing :)
So what if you think that God is an alien ? - he must be an awesome alien because he has blessed me so much in my life :) he is not an alien to me :) he is the lover of my soul :)
Awesomeness :)

Rain or storm , I will perservere :)

Lawls ,it seem to be a long time that I didn't blog .:(
Hahah I have been busy with cca after school everyday .
Hahah , cca everyday ? Crazy right ?
But I love my cca , choir :)
Hahah , today , the choir went up to stage and performed don't stop believing with the dance steps .
I did my best :)
When I just went up to the stage , I saw a couple of teachers giving me the disgusted look :(
Idk if I just look like some shit or what la .

I saw you staring at me and cross your hands and rolled your eyes .
I got a feeling that monday you will call me out .
I am waiting to face to man .
I hve been waiting for that day to come where I can really really really express my feelings to you .
Even though you are a teacher that I am not very fond of , I am trying to accept you .
But I hope that you will accept me too .
I know I quit softball without even telling you .
I know it's my wrong , but if I told you , will you scold me ?
You would for sure ...
What if you have to attend this cca after school almost everyday when you are the outcast ...
No one want to choose you because you are fat , ugly , a freak ?
Even though I go all out to talk to people and make friends , do they care ?
You don't understand what I am feeling now .
The deep hurt within me .
You don't understand because you are just a ordinary teacher .
When I go for choir , I found joy , united people with one heart , to sing beautifully .
In softball , I am a piece of shit compared to others.
When in choir , I am myself . My true self .
I talk , laugh and hve fun .
I don't understand why people discriminate me just because I am some fat and ugly shit in your eyes .
I just want to be normal ...

Lord , let it rain , let it pour down .
I am prepared to carry an umbrella with you .
I will never let the rain get over me .
I will get over the rain !
God get over this storm with me !:)

An awesome first day with an AWESOME GOD!:)

Today was the first day of school .
Knowing that mrs leong is not gonna be my form teacher , I wasn't even excited for school :(
Yea , I went to school all grumpily .:(
Attire check pass , I used to be so happy when mrs leong say this to me .
But now , it's not mrs leong anymore :( is like some Gan teacher :(
Hahah , then we all went up to class to enjoy aircon , played games with this new teacher .
Until school was over , I felt the sense of relieved !:)
Yay , then I had choir which I heard that I am gonna hve choir for the whole week of school :)
Singing is my passion , I love choir !:)
Hahahah ! Performance this Friday ! I am so excited !:)
Hahah 'don't stop believing' . :) love it :)

After school , I texted mrs leong .
I was so overjoyed .
It was really god's blessing man !:):)
Yay she is so funny with her typical singlish !:)
Like lahs lorh :) so cute !:):)
Hahaha , I wanna be a teacher when I grow up .
Thanks God for the fruitful shopping today !:):)
Yay ! New heels , and shorts !:):)
I am tired !:) an awesome day , gonna be an awesome night !:)

Pray !:)

Guess what , mrs leong is not gonna be my form teacher anymore .
:( I am so sad about it .
Mrs leong is an awesome teacher ! :)
I still wanna take time off and pray that everything will go well for her !:):)
Hahahah !:)
Lastly , I wanna pray that 4D will get a good teacher too !:):)
Amen !:)

Time flies , and school is starting tomorrow , TOMORROW?

Hahah , I need a organizer badly !:(
I shall buy one organizer tomorrow !:):)
Hahahah ! I need to start planning my days and noting down
No one plan to fail , but fail to plan !
Hahaha ! Lets do it !
Hahahaha !:):) let's plan ! I am going to be ORGANISED !!!!:)

Prayer request !:)

Even though today is an awesome day for me ,
it is not for my mum :(
My mum is having severe toothache !
Anyone who see this post please join me and pray for my mum alright !:)

Just a new year day ? Think again !:)

Today is so awesome !
Jeremy and meeling came to my mum's stall .
I didn't even expect them today .
I was like at my mum's stall packing up to go and sleep .
Then they suddenly come !:):)
I was like shocked!
Is that meelingkwa I see ?!?!
Oh is my meelingkwa !:):)
I was so overjoyed !
And jeremy was the one who brought her here !
Oh my ! Jeremy is such a stalker !:)
Hahahaha ! But I thank God for that .
The last I saw meelingkwa was yesterday , ummm , I mean last year !
They sat there for so long .
I was like so happy !:)
yay I really wanna thank God for this amazing Friends !:)
I thought new year would just be an ordinary day like any other .
But no ! :) I love today !:) thank God !:):) 
This is a wonderful blessing I would never forget !:)